caitlinsh

Four Years Down

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:12:06 GMT

It's been four years since my diagnosis. I made it to Montana, but a lot of things have been frustrating me lately and I'm pretty depressed. Maybe I'll post more about it when I have time. I'm really bad at being able to put my thoughts down in a coherent way.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 17:07:09 GMT

It seems I now have really bad joint pain from the chemo induced menopause and the arimidex. It really sucks and I am sick of doctors. I still don't have a job. I'm really feeling depressed about everything. I wanted to have kids. I wanted to move to Montana. None of this is happening. I don't have any plan. I don't know what to do. I don't want to trod through life with no goals.

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 18:00:40 GMT

I haven't posted in a while. Mainly because I have another journal which is not so anonymous. If you're interested in friending my other journal (most of my cancer posts are friends only), post here and let me know.

At any rate, I finished up my chemo on July 14th and will be finishing my radiation next week. Things are going pretty well. My hair has started to grow back. Thanks for all of your support!

I will probably let this journal lapse.

Chemo update

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 03:58:05 GMT

Chemo today... first Taxol. Went smoothly. YAY! They got the vein in one try. Thank you John! So far no horrible reactions. We'll see.

Sun, 22 May 2005 16:16:21 GMT

Sorry folks, It's been kind of rough so I haven't posted. I decided not to get the porta-cath. The nurse that was successful with my IV on the third chemo promised to to my subsequent IVs. The fourth chemo went much better. He got me on the first stick. Yay!

In other news, our cat has been very sick and the vet still hasn't figured out what is wrong with him. First they thought it was hyperthyroid, then they found a lump in the kidney and thought it was a kidney tumor. Now we've had him back for more tests and they think it might be FIP. But there's fluid in the cortex of the kidney. A friend was thinking if we should ask about PKD. Anyway, tests won't be back until Wednesday. We're getting pretty frustrated. At least the cat is not losing any more weight. He's at six pounds right now. Poor kitty.

Third Chemo

Sun, 08 May 2005 06:16:56 GMT

Second one went pretty good. I thought that getting stuck three times to find the vein was bad until my third cycle. They had to stick me about six times before they got the vein. I was in tears at one point. I'm now a candidate for the porta-cath. Next week unless I chicken out. I'm really down about the whole chemo thing right now. I've been more nauseous this time around, I think because of my anxiety over getting stuck and whether to do the porta-cath.

Round one update

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 03:00:46 GMT

Thursday night and Friday were a bit rough. I learned that I should take the anti-nausea meds before I feel nauseous. Tried to eat something Friday morning (didn't feel bad) but it didn't stay down. Took the meds and things were fine again. Learned a lesson for the next cycle.

I'm feeling a bit tired, but mostly ok now. A few digestive issues and I've not been eating as well as I could as evidenced by the fact that I've dropped a few pounds. Not a diet plan I would recommend though.

I've had two rounds of acupuncture and I guess it's helping but I've nothing to compare it to so it's hard to tell. I hope it's all smooth sailing now until the next cycle. We'll have to see.

One down, three plus four to go...

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 16:36:29 GMT

Well, I'm doing the dose-dense treatment. I had the first AC yesterday. The only bad thing was having to wait for over an hour to get things started. I nearly lost it. After things got started it went much better. The IV didn't have any problems. I got the anti-nausia med, then the Adriamycin, then the Cytoxan. Afther the IV, I got a shot of Neulasta to boost the blood cell counts.

More later.

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 21:07:27 GMT

Well, I know I haven't posted in a while. I saw the Ob/Gyn on the 21st and the medical oncologist on the 22nd.

I need to choose between Adriamycin and Cytoxan (AC) every 3 wks. for 3 mo. or a "dose dense" treatment - AC every 2 wks. (4 times) with a growth factor to help immune recovery between the AC cycles followed by Taxol (x4, I think) all over 4 months. I got to talk to a patient that just finished the dose-dense treatment and she sounds great. It sounds like the AC is the hard part and I can't really avoid that.

The thing that's really bugging me is that, even though I'm feeling like I'm getting too old for it now, the chances are that I won't be able to have kids without a lot of other crap and expense to go through (freezing eggs/embryos, etc.). I really hate having that choice taken away from me. I was really hoping to ramp up that effort in the first half of this year but not having a job and then getting the diagnosis kind of quashed that.

I guess I'm just going to have to find a way to get over it and plan on adopting if I want to be a parent. I read somewhere, though, that you have to be cancer free for 5 years before they'll let you adopt. It really sucks.

I haven't called the doc back yet, but I guess they want to start the chemo next week. Has anyone done acupuncture with chemo? I also have this elbow tendonitis and compressed discs in my neck. I was supposed to get a cortisone shot for that but decided to postpone it until after my treatments. I'm wondering if acupuncture would help with that as well in the meantime. I guess I'll post this question on one of the boards.

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 21:37:05 GMT

I didn't mention before, but I have Invasive Ductal cancer which, from what I've read, is the most common type.

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 20:56:11 GMT

I got the results back on Monday, but it was very anti-climactic. Good news is: Estrogen and Progesterone receptor positive, Her2 overexpression is negative. I'm still waiting to get a copy of the written report. I missed a few things on the phone and might have questions about it after I've looked at it.

I guess what I really want to know is what treatments are recommended so I read more specifically and start the decision making process.

On another note... I went to see a worker's comp lawyer today and when I called my husband afterwords to talk to him about it I got totally frustrated about his not understanding that I was still confused an upset. I really want to discuss my whole big picture with someone who can listen to all aspects of my particular situation. I really have been pretty good since I got my diagnosis, but for some reason this has really set me off. I don't know why.

...still crying for some reason I don't understand.

Note: cross posting to breast cancer...

No news until Monday

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 18:08:30 GMT

I forgot to post Friday. The docs office said the results wouldn't be in until Monday.

No word today

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 07:46:49 GMT

Still haven't heard final results from the doc. I'll call the office tomorrow.

Some results are back

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 17:47:35 GMT

The doctor called yesterday with some of the info. Not all the results are back yet.

* They only took two lymph nodes and both were clear.
* The tumor was just a bit bigger than 2cm
* The cancer was grade 3 (kind of fast growing)
* The margins were clear

They don't have any of the immunology done yet and the stage is not yet determined although I suspect it must be low since it seems not to have spread. The doc guessed that the rest of the results would be in today. She also said it was looking like "they" (I guess the medical oncologists) will probably recommend chemo... I still want to know more before I'm actually going to decide to do it. I'm really resisting the idea of putting havoc wreaking chemicals into my body.

A woman I used to work with heard about me through a mutual friend and called me on Monday. She was diagnosed in 2001 and decided not to do chemo. She's doing fine. I realize her situation is different but she made me see that I don't necessarily have to follow the recommendation.

Feeling better

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 18:12:04 GMT

Well, I am pretty much up and about now. I did some light chores yesterday and actually acompanied my husband to the store. Hopefully we'll get the full results today, but maybe tomorrow. I'll post the results when I get them.

As I posted in one of my responses, an acquaitance who was diagnosed in 2001 got in touch with me and told me that in her case, she decided against chemo because she thought the risk outweighed the benefit. Until then I hadn't really realized that the treatment is ultimately up to me. I had this fear that I'd be told I need chemo and that would be it. We'll see...

Cancer

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 18:01:09 GMT

In December I felt what might be a lump but dismissed it. I had a physical at the end of January and the doctor said it was a lump and I should go get a mammogram anyway since I'm 39. I went in for a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound on the 17th of Feb. It was not a cyst. It was a solid mass. They scheduled me for a core biopsy but not until March 14th! Long story short, I got an appt. with a breast specialist on the 23rd (Feb) and she did a fine needle biopsy. I got a call late Friday from her telling me it was cancer.

Today I go see the doctor to get the details of what's going on. I have Thursday reserved for the surgery. They are going to do a lumpectomy and follow with radiation if I remember rightly. I was a bit in shock.

I've never had any kind of surgery in my life. No broken bones, no hospitalization, no major illness.

My mother-in-law died of ovarian cancer in 1999. She was 61. Needless to say, my husband is a bit freaked by this.